• credit: Disney
    movie reviews

    Review: The Eternals (2021) ***

    Though Eternals is very much the same brand as Marvel’s other offerings, it feels quiet and intimate. The visual style is soft: with flattering, moody lighting, the surgically enhanced lead actors look truly like timeless aliens rather than video game characters (as Marvel’s creations sometimes do by the end of post-production). We linger in close conversations held between ancient beings. The narrative slips away from modernity to historical periods with a drifting camera. The Eternals themselves are comfortable in every time period, and so are we, lovingly experiencing humanity beside them.

    Shakespeare loved to write about direct opposites, and Chloé Zhao has made full use of this technique to hammer home the humanity intrinsic to gods on Earth. A grand-scale comic book story about planet-sized aliens is made relatable by treating the Eternals as normal-ish people who want to help the world, who are then changed in dramatic ways when their mission is revealed to be less-than-helpful.

    Unfortunately, the grand-scale story also comes with a grand-scale cast. Each character was designed with interesting power sets played marvelously by actors who brought interesting things to the role, and I would have liked to see more from all of them. But how much time can you spend with all your favorites when you have about a dozen favorites and 2.5 hours to visit with them?

    I most often rankled against Eternals when it reminded me that it’s part of one of the biggest entertainment franchises, like ham-handed text on screen explaining lore that is then repeated by the characters. Laboring over explanations of why they didn’t intervene with other MCU events irritated me. This movie desperately wanted to be its own, but it is still part of the brand, packaged in plastic and dispensed with a Happy Meal. Zhao did a wonderful job making a wonderful movie within those constraints.

    Whether Eternals works in the greater scope of the MCU ultimately depends on how future creators will handle them. The piecemeal storytelling means we may see these characters brought in elsewhere, with all but their simplest defining characteristics stripped so that they can be functional cogs in an oversize, spectacular machine (like, say, Peter Quill in Endgame). This is where I find my dissatisfaction in the MCU, and it will seem especially criminal to reappropriate the Eternals in such a fashion when the complexity and charm of the characters in Zhao’s vision are what make them worth watching.

    (Image credit: Disney. This review was originally posted on Letterboxd on Jan 14 2022.)

  • sara reads the feed

    Giant ancient shlonger, an excuse to eat candy, and a ban on eating dogs

    My anxiety has been on a rampage for a couple days. I have really severe money-related anxiety, regardless of the reality of the money situation, and I have discovered I absolutely cannot rationalize my way through stress surrounding it. I have to see myself being anxious about money and just say, “That is an anxiety problem.” And then treat it as such.

    This ties into business generally. I keep trying to edge back into working on publishing matters, but the emotional burden is so intense. It’s a minefield of triggers turning me insensate. A real issue.

    I emailed around looking for local therapists who do EMDR, since it was recommended to me specifically as a treatment that might help, but I have not had any luck.

    On the bright side, I can safely say the level of my anxiety has nothing to do with the precarity of my money situation. It’s just one of my brain’s favorite hits to play when I’m freaking out. I have a few categories of Brain’s Greatest Hits off the anxiety playlist: I’m So Fat, I’m a Bad Mom, We Are Going to Lose Everything We Have, My Husband Secretly is Sick of Me, etcetera.

    The fact I only took a couple three days to work through this protracted panic and realize it *is* just a panic is actually kinda record turnaround though? It’s encouraging to see growth in myself. I am not yet where I want to be.

    In the absence of EMDR for now, I sincerely think I just need to work slowly, but persistently, work on mindfulness with my support system, and maybe even write up a few affirmations to remind myself of what’s going on when my head’s too muzzy to distinguish Brain’s Greatest Hits from Actual Reality.

    ~

    Lawyers, Guns, & Money shared a really interesting article about the quality of AI writing essays. It’s so good, I don’t want to summarize it or bury it. It’s not very long. Give it a read, Trek nerds.

    ~

    A new publication asserts that the Cerne Abbas Giant may represent Hercules (Ars Technica).

    A major attraction of Dorset, England, is the Cerne Abbas Giant, a 180-foot-tall figure of a naked man wielding a large club carved with chalk into a hilltop. A pair of historians offers a strong case that this figure was originally meant to represent Hercules from Greek mythology, perhaps to inspire West Saxon armies, who could have used the site as a muster station. […]

    “It’s become clear that the Cerne giant is just the most visible of a whole cluster of early medieval features in the landscape,” said co-author Helen Gittos, an early medieval historian at the University of Oxford, told The Guardian. “I think we’ve found a compelling narrative that fits the giant into the local landscape and history better than ever before, changing him from an isolated mystery to an active participant in the local community and culture.”

    There are whole levels to how much I love this. First of all, because I love getting a sense of prehistoric civilization. It’s really easy to imagine calling some artists together to work on a giant penis dude to get the Saxon armies hyped. Imagine showing up to your muster station on day one of the new battle against whoever you’re fucking with this time, and y’all have this giant art piece to inspire you.

    Sincerely, it makes me feel so vividly in the time-and-place. Knowing that they were decorating these spaces with a ~mood~ in such a way makes me think of, like, conventions in Las Vegas.

    Also, lol penis.

    ~

    A bit of frippery perhaps. A doctor on People Magazine suggested super-sour Warheads for interrupting panic attacks. It sounds silly, but I can actually understand what he’s getting at here. People seem to misinterpret it as “eat candy and forget about your problems,” but I think this is just a literal interruption to a maladaptive chemical feedback loop.

    Sour to induce whatever chemicals sour induces (maybe we register it like pain? adrenaline? dopamine?), and then inducing different facial expressions will also change the chemical process in your brain… Yeah, I see what he’s getting at. It’s using candy like medication.

    And it’s not denying whatever issues are at hand, either. Like, panic attacks aren’t necessarily about something immediate. You can have a meltdown over a trigger when nothing is going on. Or maybe you’re panicking over a fair issue, but the size of the panic isn’t appropriate. Snapping yourself out of it with a Warhead isn’t a bad idea.

    This is the kind of frippery I enjoy.

    ~

    Dog meat is officially illegal in South Korea. (NPR) Although this seems like an easy win from an animal welfare standpoint, I’d like to offer another perspective: dog meat is a food associated with lower income communities, rural areas, the like. I think it’s kind of a hardship food that has grown traditions around it, as often happens.

    While we’re celebrating dog safety, I hope there is also no rush to increase policing on socially marginalized groups. Changing traditions takes time. And I think it’s kinda universal in all countries that more cops in poor neighborhoods is a bad idea.

    The bill would make the slaughtering, breeding, trade and sales of dog meat for human consumption illegal from 2027 and punish such acts with 2-3 years in prison. But it doesn’t stipulate penalties for eating dog meat.

    The bill would offer assistance to farmers and others in the industry for shutting down their businesses or shifting to alternatives. Details of outlawing the industry would be worked out among government officials, farmers, experts and animal rights activists, according to the bill.

    “Details are going to be worked out later now that we’ve passed the law” is always worrying. I guess it’s normal. But I’m normally worried about government compassion for the people it governs.

    ~

    This column by John Cassidy in The New Yorker makes me wanna yark.

    Simply put, they greatly improve the welfare of countless Americans, including some of the neediest ones. In many ways, indeed, keeping the jobless rate low and the labor markets tight is the most effective and cost-efficient welfare policy there is.

    Actually, welfare is the best welfare policy.

    Democrats are so wrong-headed by insisting on the marriage between work and human rights. Not everyone can work. Work should not be perilous. Life doesn’t have to be this hard. I’m steamed.

    This is the stuff they’re gonna shove down our gullets leading up to the election. We’re supposed to be motivated to vote Blue by this human-hating capital-loving nonsense.

    ~

    The Navajo Nation objects to human remains interred on the Moon. (NPR) Frankly, I agree. I kinda don’t want humans chucking random junk up there, period. Why in the world do we feel we have any right to littering the Moon with commercial payloads?

    I believe in human expansion into the stars someday, but right now we’re only capable of doing it in the ways we know how: disrespectfully, exploitatively, and commercially.

    ~

    Breivik is suing Norway for human rights abuse (AJE). This was a mass shooter from a few years back. This incident really shook me.

    I am opposed to solitary confinement. If he’s in solitary confinement, that is a human rights abuse. But this sort of thing shows me that I do have limitations in who I think is human. I’m like, does a man who hunted teenager have human rights? The answer should be yes if I were idealogically consistent to the end, but here we are.

    My most American stance is that someone like Breivik (not even all mass shooters, but ones like Breivik) should not occupy any societal resources or time at all, and it’s unfortunate he ever got off that island to be put in solitary confinement. Whatever happens to him after that is hardly a tragedy.

    Breaking: I am a petty human like the rest of y’all.

    ~

    Margot Robbie is happy to see Harley Quinn mythologized and reinterpreted by Lady Gaga (Variety). I am too.

    I’m thinking more broadly about Robbie and Gerwig’s career goals, though. From Robbie in this article:

    “We want to make more films that have the effect that ‘Barbie’ has. I don’t know if it has to be ‘Barbie 2.’ Why can’t it be another big, original, bold idea where we get an amazing filmmaker, a big budget to play with, and the trust of a huge conglomerate behind them to go and really play? I want to do that.”

    I’m sure they would. Gerwig and Robbie have made it clear that their goal is to win at this system we have right now. They’ve identified their gender as the only thing standing in their way of winning at this system.

    I thought Barbie would make a legitimate run at the awards seasons, but it kinda looks like Pretty Things – the “feminist” movie made by men about a dead pregnant woman who becomes sex-crazy after having her fetus’s brain put into her body – is going to take a lot of the awards I expected Barbie to get.

    Losing to some guy making some weirdo movie about his idea of a sexy weird woman is probably going to validate their worldview – that it’s hard being a woman. It also validates my worldview, which is that the system is a wreck, they’re wasting their time trying to be good at an abusive system, and I hope they are happy with the work itself because how you spend your days is how you spend your life and the work might be the only reward they get.

    Well, and a gazillion dollars. Being a white blonde woman in a man’s world isn’t without benefits. People wouldn’t beg to be picked if it wasn’t good, yeah? And I’m sure Gerwig and Robbie are making enough money to buy their own validation at this point?

    ~

    Thank goodness Peter Jackson understood The Lord of the Rings. The studio wanted him to kill off a Hobbit. (The Guardian)

    I think the level of studio intervention in the Hobbit movies is why they’re so terrible. Everything is rushed, the studio got its wants, nothing makes sense with the canon, and the movies aren’t popular.

  • Diaries

    Words I don’t understand

    Ikigai is a Japanese word without a direct equivalent in English, though I suppose it could be considered the spirit of life, what makes life worth living, the quality of it all. I read about it in an interesting article about robots for assisting dementia patients. (Wired) Not in basic life tasks like hygiene, but in improving the general experience of living for people who have major cognitive impairments. Treatments for things like dementia often involve regressing into happy memories, but some researchers want to help folks enjoy their present and future for as long as they have it, and that means improving ikigai.

    Until the last couple years, I had a good life. I have been successful. There wasn’t anything to complain about. But I was struggling internally, and it felt like all the good stuff happened around this giant gaping bleeding wound that would never heal. I could never forget about the giant gaping bleeding wound. I’d have loads of fun, experiencing beauty and the regular gamut of emotions, while also constantly gushing blood. It feels like it would be easier to say life was fine – even good – but I had poor ikigai.

    This ties into my other favorite word English doesn’t translate directly: bildung. Bildung is the German concept of self-growth, a journey of becoming better and more yourself through time. You may have heard of the bildungsroman, which is like a coming of age novel.

    In order to improve my ikigai, I needed to have a whole bildung, and that was kinda the first half of my thirties. I feel so much happier than I’ve felt before. I’m not all the way healed, but this seeping hole is crusting over and getting scabby. Could I think of a grosser metaphor for something pleasant? Life is messy and gross and good.

    I’ve also been thinking about quality of life through one’s declining years. I’ve been the hospice for several sickly, aging animals now, and although I haven’t yet needed to care for an aging relative (knock on wood), I contemplate it because age is coming for all of us eventually (hopefully). I think about how little children don’t remember much of anything. But we try to give them great experiences and so much joy within the cognitive limitations of childhood. If we lovingly embrace our aging elders, even through the heartbreak of knowing this is a regression rather than a progression, could we also enjoy each other better, longer? Could we all have better ikigai?

    I’m probably using the word wrong, but I just like the concept a lot right now.

    ~

    Although I’ve been feeling more peaceful and healed, I feel I’m missing out on supporting my family financially. I’m doing stuff in that direction slowly, trying to amp myself back up for more work, but I tried last year too and kinda slipped so I feel less confident about my ability to get my feet under me. Heck, I also tried to get my feet under me for a yearish of college and slipped at that too. They have been gentle small slips as I attempt gentle steps, but it’s not been too encouraging.

    I used to get a lot of pride and self-worth out of bringing ample bacon home for my family. I’m no longer confident I can do that, and it’s really not just a blow to my ego (long since faded–like I said, I’ve been healing) but also it makes me feel really uncertain about myself. I always supported myself since I was 18. The last year or two, I have not contributed as much as my spouse. It’s scary! And I honestly feel like I don’t deserve this time to reorient myself, like I am not pulling my weight.

    We don’t mind living a smaller life, mostly. We aren’t hurting. We aren’t having lavish vacations anymore, but I don’t think it markedly changes the quality of life for me! Like all the stuff I used to go out and do and spend money on was as much stress as positive influence, on the good end of things, and I appreciate the less-stressful life at home that has allowed me to flourish in new creative directions.

    Normally I remember this and I’m good. The most productive thing to do is just focus on getting better at working again in healthy ways, and really put my energy into that, not so much beating myself up for what I can’t do compared to my past. The past is the past. Yanno?

    I’ve been feeling a jolt once in a while lately. Like a cold splash or an electric shock. Like I just woke up 7-8 years ago, realized I hadn’t released a book in months, and have an immediate panic attack. I used to release almost monthly. I was always searching for new opportunities, making connections, marketing, straining through books. The life I’m living right now was my fear. I would have seen myself as utterly worthless. It took years of growth to get to a place where I stopped valuing myself based on external factors at all, and started realizing I have inherent value, but sometimes it’s like…all that growth just vanishes in a blink and I’m scared and bleeding again.

    What am I so afraid of? Taking it easy now doesn’t mean all my past accomplishments stop counting. And my current non-financial accomplishments are so meaningful. Moving away from a capitalist sense of value has been really important for me.

    I almost feel like this is a sign I should shake myself around a little and step up my effort on working–in healthful ways, of course. Indulging fear won’t help me, but I gotta get motivation somewhere? I really do work every day. I write plenty. But I think I need to really focus on finishing the twelve thousand unfinished projects sitting out there. I feel so much better whenever I have something to show for my efforts.

  • image credit: Utopia
    movie reviews

    Review: We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (2022) ****

    We’re All Going to the World’s Fair is so *interesting*. A really authentic portrayal of loneliness in the internet era. It also made me think about what horror can be. The movie was simple but, I think, pretty subtle too.

    I read the movie as being about a Queer Elder trying to keep tabs on a very-depressed Queer Youth over the internet when the Youth is descending into a bad place. Trying to love and care for someone from afar. The fear when you can’t reach them.

    The story ended up being actually really sweet, but terribly sad about the aching loneliness and isolation. The brief giddiness of meeting someone you know *so* well for the first time IRL, and then returning to your isolation. I feel like it was written by someone much like me.

    I am not capable of (or interested in) writing anything as subtle as this movie. There are shots that are, say, 7 or 8 minutes long, and very little happens in them. I still thought it was interesting. That’s so much not my style. But the internet experience resonates.

    This feels so personal, and also deeply of-the-moment. This captures so much of my internet life so well. I used to be the younger person. I became the older person. A horror movie indeed.

    (Image credit: Utopia. This review was originally posted on Letterboxd on Dec 13 2022.)

  • image credit: 20th Century Fox
    movie reviews

    The Princess Bride (1987) *****

    You know the “how often do men think about the Roman Empire?” meme that used to go around? Well, for me, it might as well be The Princess Bride. I think about it constantly. A lot of the time I’m thinking about the book, actually, which is a wonderful ironic read that zoomed straight over my head as a kid, but has a lot of great imagery in it. Naturally the book characters look like the movie actors, who were, in my childhood esteem, probably the most famous actors in the entire world. To be clear, I was an age where 11-year-old Fred Savage looked grown up to me, maybe like a teenager, so I must have been very wee trying to navigate this meta masterpiece.

    Humans aren’t even capable of abstract thought until adolescence, which means the exquisite sarcasm of The Princess Bride formed my base wiring by first confusing me and then leaving me smitten. No wonder I remain obsessed thirtywhatever years later. God, this movie is my entire gender identity, my sexual orientation, my mascot, my master, my mommy. It is everything.

    I married a Westley type who would absolutely go transform into a pirate and adventure back to save me from an evil marriage. Early in our relationship he used hard labor to show how much he loved me, like carrying around giant bags of cat litter. And I was usually a big jerk about it. I didn’t shove him down any hills, but… Anyway.

    The Princess Bride ran so that Shrek could sprint gamely after it. One after another, William Goldman presents us with pulp adventure stereotypes that are inverted: the commoner princess too spicy for the evil prince to handle, an extremely erudite and considerate swordsman on a bloody revenge scheme, a soft-hearted giant serving as the muscle for their unintimidating ringleader. Even our sincerely handsome, valorous hero is played to the goofy hilt by Known Silly Bitch Carey Elwes, who I have been in love with for my entire life.

    But I’ve been EVEN MORE in love with Robin Wright as Princess Buttercup that whole time. I remember in the book, they talked about how she brushed her hair a hundred times a day. It made her more beautiful. There was something about bathing in milk, I think. And it was the beauty she gained from the sadness of losing Westley that drew the Prince’s hungry eye. Robin Wright is every inch the ethereal, unbelievable beauty described in the book, and it shouldn’t be possible. A human is actually that beautiful!

    Everyone in this movie is what, like, twelve years old? I’m telling you, they were old-ass people when I was a kid, but now I’m middle aged and this movie is full of babies! What happened?

    (I was *so* *young* when I loved this movie so passionately. I’m telling you, the name Buttercup made me laugh because I thought it meant like…butter…in a cup. So young!)

    In fact, The Princess Bride is much funnier when you have adult cognition, and you’re not still eating glue like it’s a part-time job. The broad family appeal offers something for every age, really. Little kids enjoy the excitement, older kids enjoy relating to Tiny Fetus Fred Savage who is reluctant to listen to the story, teens can enjoy the hotness of the surprisingly young leads probably, and older adults can actually know what’s going on.

    You can tell an absolute genius like Rob Reiner sits in the director’s chair for this one. The Princess Bride is basically the When Harry Met Sally of 80s fantasy. I love it forever.

    (image credit: 20th Century Fox)

  • credit: Warner Bros.
    movie reviews

    Review: The Lord of the Rings (1978)

    I’m simultaneously impressed by the sheer ambition of the project, and feeling wholly incapable of ever giving this a star rating. This is…unique.

    The animation is incredible, when it’s animated, and when it’s interspersed with heavy rotoscoping or filtered footage, it’s very interesting.

    The Halflings look like children, mostly, which is unsettling. In several places, it definitely looks like they rotoscoped children for Hobbits. I just don’t think of them as childlike, though Frodo is certainly young.

    Twinkolas is drawn VERY pretty. Gimli is as tall as Twinkolas and Old Man Aragorn. Boromir wears a pseudo-viking horned helmet. The Men have miniskirts (TUNICS) and either naked legs or skin toned leggings.

    A lot of this is just aesthetic sensibilities of the 70s, or Bakshi’s taste, and Bakshi was a hell of an artist. Sacrifices were made in design in an attempt to do more animation, and when he succeeds, it’s beautiful.

    The microexpressions of his characters and their hand gestures are like…wow. The backgrounds are divine! I love the fully rendered environments but I love the more abstract ones more.

    I scream-laugh at the Ringwraiths every time they show up.

    Thing is, you can nitpick what feels weird about this until the end of time, BUT IT ALL WORKS! This is obviously an incredible labor of love, and even the compromises are made with dedication and genius imo.

    I could see this being a great kids’ intro to LotR.

    (This review was originally posted on Letterboxd on Jan 03 2023. Image credit Warner Bros.)

  • Diaries

    Some 2023 statistics off Sara’s Letterboxd

    Earlier I ranked my top 10 movies from 2023, but here are a few other fun stats from my Letterboxd about the year’s movie-watching habits.

    My first film watched was 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s funny because I ended the year thinking I was due a rewatch. Apparently I’m on an annual cycle with this one?

    The last film I logged in 2023 was my second viewing of What Happens Later, which made me cry happily all over again.

    Since I watched over 200 films, Letterboxd made note of some important milestones.

    On the other hand, there were three movies that I rewatched more than others, logging each of them three times on Letterboxd.

    • Bottoms was one of my favorite movies of the year, and it had the most rewatchability. It really has that “I have to make xyz watch it now” factor.
    • I rewatched Nimona several times right when it came out because the queer and family-friendly message resonated, but it’s hard to watch movies with my kids at the same time. It’s in my top 10 for the year for sure.
    • Mandy was the dark horse of rewatches. I blasted through it three times early in the year when I was on a horror binge. The vibes are so absolute, it consumed me. I think I’m due to revisit it.

    Comedy and romance ended up being the main genres of my year, with 114 and 74 films respectively logged. It’s no surprise. I really took off watching romcoms after Halloween.

    That said, I gave the highest ratings on average to animated movies and action/adventure.

    Since I have Letterboxd Pro, I have a lot of interesting statistics that aren’t worth recapping here, but probably very representative of my interests as a human being. Here’s a screenshot of one highlight. There’s a lotta words, so click to embiggen, or you can just go look at my stats on Letterboxd.

    Basically I like movies that are very exciting, genre, and juvenile that have Meg Ryan in them. Maybe not all at once.

    The last statistic on the page is one of the more interesting ones. It’s a list of popular 2023 movies I haven’t logged yet.

    • Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is the first, and I don’t know if I’ll finish watching it until the sequel comes out. I found it pleasant to watch but it didn’t grab me the way the first one did. It’s hard to get invested knowing it’s got a cliffhanger, too.
    • Two movies are related to Attack on Titan, which is a cool property (I’ve read a couple manga and played the AoT Fortnite event) but I don’t plan to see the movies.
    • I have no desire to see the Eras Tour movie or Oppenheimer.
    • I’m still waffling on Pretty Things because the aesthetic is great but the story sounds awful.
    • I haven’t paid any attention to Past Lives or The Holdovers. I wonder if I should watch them?