credit: Netflix

The Royal Treatment (2022) *****

IN A WORLD where nobody on Letterboxd appreciates two hot people with good chemistry (an average of 1.9 stars on this one!),

where the Netflix royal families all somehow ended up around Aldovia because of The Silk Road,

an extremely hot Italian-American hairdresser bullies the extremely hot prince of Lavania into loving her midriff as much as I do.

Yet again, a producer pulled off the coup of convincing a production company to pay for a vacation to New Zealand, where two super hot young people have vastly superior chemistry to any other Netflix romcom couple. Honestly, I sometimes think location shoots are like summer camp for frisky young actors, and GOOD FOR THEM. I believe the chemistry so much that I feel I might have been violating their privacy. Good. For. Them. Need a middle aged nutbag to be your unicorn? *phone hand gesture* Call me.

Mena Massoud has been on my “makes me insensate and babbling” shortlist of actors since I saw the live action adaptation of Aladdin for the first time. When I lost two hours to the haze of thirsty fantasies about Mena Massoud for the first time, I was convinced Aladdin was actually a good remake. Then I tried watching the movie again and realized it wasn’t actually good. No, Mena Massoud is just incredibly hot. He’d probably have chemistry with a pillar. Or the concept of Kantian philosophy. Like he just exists and he’s got chemistry with existence.

I’m so happy that someone saw his hotness and thought “let’s make a movie where it’s more like he’s Princess Jasmine falling in love with a commoner.” I just want him doing romcoms with other beautiful people for the rest of his career, if that’s okay with him. I understand if that isn’t his ambition. BUT! If that’s what he wants to do, I’m here for it! I will watch it. I flew out of my chair when the two of them finally made out. I was monster-growling “just fuck already” at them about halfway through the movie.

Our heroine had so much personality, warmth, and charm, and she came along with a hilarious set of friends whose job was to mostly have sizzling lesbian chemistry with the caricature of a mean French lady. I laughed a lot.

The woman the prince is supposed to marry is perfect, and I’m so happy the credits animation showed her fulfilling her dream of opening a store with Purses for Dogs.

11/10 no notes, had a great time with the whole thing.

(image credit: Netflix)

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