Shopping With Sara: Water Edition

Every winter I’m convinced I’m going to turn into someone who goes hiking and camping a lot. Sometimes I do hike. I never camp.

Of course, it’s winter again, and my flagging vitamin D levels have me pining for the outside world. It is time for me to start shopping for things I am convinced will suddenly turn me into an outdoorsy person, beginning with the basics, because I can’t find anything in my closet.

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Reusable water bottles have apparently turned into a whole industry, which I learned when I heard about white women moshpitting with each other over Tarjay Starbucks Stanley Cups (to paraphrase the issue) (I haven’t actually paid much attention).

I’ve had to avoid fitness spaces since I graduated from eating disorder school, and I didn’t realize how much resuable water jugs have turned into a whole fad. This is one of those things where the sudden popularity and size of the mark-up is silly. You’re selling a way to get water into your mouth, and you’re getting real fancy about it? Of course you are, capitalism. (Speaking of capitalism, these are affiliate links and I may get a commission if you buy something through them. Hey, we live in a society.)

But some of these water bottles actually look fabulous. The most practical looks like the kind with a cell phone pocket and strap, which is probably meant for people going to the gym but would be nice for me wandering around my house without pockets. That particular cell phone pocket looks to be the best of them: it has a gap in the bottom so you can also charge your phone without taking it out. As someone who charged many a phone in a gym outlet, the other bottles seem inferior for lacking it.

With great shoulders comes great capacity for carrying water, so you could also get a big jug version of the holstered bottle. I honestly prefer not to lug that much around, but I do drink so many fluids, I can see the appeal.

For some reason other bottles seem to be trending toward paracord cables for the strap, which I assume means they think you’re going to do some SEAL team stuff very well-hydrated.

If you’re someone who likes reusable water bottles, you probably don’t wanna buy more (sustainability, you know). So there’s also these simple mesh holsters for carrying whatever you already have. Actually, this makes me think I should try crocheting a water bottle holder. And then if I ever find a water bottle in the house I don’t hate, I can just apply one to the other, and voila~! But I digress.

Of course, if you got to have that Stanley Cup action but don’t wanna punch a soccer mom, you can find dupes on Amazon too.

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I’m weird and neurotic about my reusable water bottles. I’m convinced they become dirty plague-carriers within a day or two of using, no matter how diligently I attempt to clean them, and my disorganized brain means that I’m not actually very diligent about cleaning them.

Hence I need stuff to be very, very easy to clean, and I need it to convince my fool brain that things are like…preternaturally clean.

What a relief to learn that they actually make tablets for cleaning water bottles and bladders. That way, if I think I’ve done a trash job actually getting rid of the mysterious murder-bacteria I’m convinced is growing at the bottom, I can drop one in and use CHEMISTRY!!!! to kill bacteria (or the intrusive thought).

Naturally you do also need a way to abrade the (dubiously extant) grossness off mechanically, and an assortment of brushes to handle the straw and all the crevices is very helpful for that too.

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I don’t mind my tapwater, but camping potentially means getting water from god-knows-where. I have used and do highly recommend a LifeStraw for filtering water. I really can’t ever carry enough water on my body to keep this thirsty butt hydrated on a hike. I just wanna chug and chug and chug. The LifeStraw has legitimately saved me multiple times.

Remember to take water purification drops too, just in case.

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Out of everything I looked at today, I’m probably going to get myself the water bottle with the holster that lets me charge my phone. I can legitimately imagine using that around my house, whether or not I actually get off my butt. I already have a LifeStraw, so I don’t need another one, but I will be picking up those cleaning tablets and some new brushes. The old ones I have are covered in disease. Probably. What a great reusable lifestyle I have.

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