Dear Aunt Sara:
I’ve got a real problem. My (27m) wedding to a beautiful woman (20f) is coming up in a few days. I wanted to give my best friend (27f) plenty of time to prepare herself for the wedding. Not because we’ve been in a nonmonogamous relationship for nine years and she deserves to know, but because I expect her to be happy for the loss of this intimate “friend” relationship with dirty talk, flirting, and dating.
But BFF is here, and she acts like she’s into me when I flagrantly hit on her. I’ve told my Fiancee’s entire family that I’ve got like, the biggest boner for this lady, and so the family is teasing her and belittling Fiancee all the time. BFF is just being so weird about it!
Now Fiancee is acting crazy too. I think she wants to give me a lucrative, stable job that would meet her needs as well as mine, the bitch. That’s not why I scooped up a girl in college and planned to rip her out of her life in order to completely service mine! We agreed she would never have needs. She would always be a doormat. But again, she’s acting weird about my hot BFF I’ve been having flirty phone sexy times with for the better part of a decade, and that’s just neurotic. Women, right?
Anyway, the question: BFF kissed me right before the wedding and confessed she’s in love. Fiancee is shattered. I guess I just need to know, truly, girls crazy, right? I’m an absolute innocent in this. My therapist did mention something about how clear communication and appropriate boundaries from the start would have prevented the whole thing, but my therapist is a woman too so idk. How do I recover this whole thing where I deserve to have anything I want, all the time, without consequences, including a tender embrace with BFF at my own wedding?
– Smoldering Without Boundaries
Die in a fire.
(image credit: Sony Pictures Studios)