• image credit: A24
    movie reviews

    Movie Review: Priscilla (2023) ***

    “Priscilla” is a movie following the courtship and marriage of its titular character to Elvis Presley, beginning as a hazy teenage dream of romance with a pop star and ending with disillusionment and divorce.

    This is my first Sophia Coppola movie, but most everything I have to say about “Priscilla” seems to be normal for her films. As a claustrophobic, shallow confectionary, “Priscilla” is as much aesthetic as plot. Interiority is inferred rather than explicit. We are tightly limited to Priscilla’s perspective, and as the one who is left behind at Graceland while Elvis lives his life, there is little opportunity to guess at greater context unless you know what’s going on.

    I’m not an Elvis fan. I’m too young to have any opinion about his legacy outside of the weird fact he’s a major element of Lilo & Stitch. I couldn’t even get through the first few minutes of Baz Luhrmann’s “Elvis.” So I’m coming at this with virtually nothing.

    I expect that people with more cultural context will find more meaning in the film. As a standalone, Priscilla really doesn’t have a lot going on outside of its aesthetic.

    The beginning of the movie immerses us with 14-year-old Priscilla as she becomes immersed in a world-famous man with enormous influence who is a decade her senior. We can make guesses about why a famous pop star would want her specifically (versus any other fawning teenage girl), but there is so little context on Priscilla as a person that I initially assumed it was a weird sex thing.

    Except Elvis declines to have sex with Priscilla until she is older; it appears that he mostly wants a cute little “pure” doll who will do whatever he wants, and that tarnishing her would make him lose interest. They have a playful sexual relationship for a period of time but he is distracted by older, more experienced women. In a typical virgin/whore dichotomy, Elvis again loses sexual interest in Priscilla once she bears their child.

    Ultimately it feels that Elvis mostly wants a staff member who will put up with his shit while fulfilling his idealized role of girlfriend; reaching the point where he “must” marry and procreate isn’t really what he wanted, but life is moving on, and Priscilla is growing up.

    Once Coppola has made her point about Elvis’s initially predatory relationship to Priscilla, Coppola seems to lose interest in the subject matter, too. As Priscilla becomes more of an individual with agency, the movie speeds along at a faster clip, and it’s hard to escape the feeling that Coppola doesn’t care all that much about Priscilla once she’s no longer a more easily manipulated teenager.

    As such, this feels like a really aesthetic way of saying “your hero was a shitty human,” without putting all that much work into the main character whose long-lashed eyes we are always looking through. While searching around for more context on the movie, feeling like I was missing important details to make it more meaningful, I was struck by how powerful Priscilla-the-human seemed to be — how willful and intentional she must have been in order to live the life she has lead. We get glimpses of this from Cailee Spaeny’s performance, but Coppola doesn’t want to hang out with a Priscilla who is breaking free of her cage.

    The fact so many people are in denial about Elvis’s abusive, controlling behaviors toward Priscilla makes me *want* to five-star this in a bite-my-thumb-at-you type maneuver. People are offended by the bare facts involved because facts make Elvis look bad. As the “Priscilla” movie is based on her autobiography “Elvis & Me,” it’s wholly fair for her to be frank about the conditions of a relationship where she was groomed and dehumanized, even when she also seems to have sympathy for the man himself.

    This movie gave me the clear impression of a cosseted man whose flaws were never challenged or given the attention needed to heal; he just turned toward addiction and sycophants, like many people with power do.

    I don’t even mean Elvis levels of power. This is far from the only imbalanced relationship in the world, and it’s pretty normal for people who have done well at something to find themselves trapped in the amber of their own success, paralyzed by enablers. What I’m saying is that it’s completely human to demand exactly what you want and become ruined when you get it. It’s extremely easy to believe this portrayal when it’s extremely common for women to get smacked around by a man who doesn’t know any coping mechanism outside the veneer of control.

    There’s no reason to think Elvis was worse than this, either. Priscilla and Elvis apparently remained good friends until the end of his life, and Elvis seemed to need genuine friends. He’s an icon of stunted man-child nonsense that generations of women have indulged.

    I wish that Sophia Coppola had cared more about Priscilla the human outside the time of her life where she was most confined. I wanted to jump through the screen and pummel the adults allowing Priscilla to be obviously groomed for the first half of the movie, but I kinda wanted to ask Coppola “what the fuck?” at her evident disinterest in the complicated adult who developed from those circumstances.

    It’s a good movie, though – based on my standards of good movie, where a creator sets out to tell a particular story, and I believe Coppola accomplished her intent. It’s skillful and beautiful and kinda boring. After a quick read about Coppola’s other movies, and what has become defined as her style, I almost wonder if Coppola herself isn’t trapped by her successes too, incapable of moving beyond one type of heroine in one type of setting. Most creators have a particular story they want to tell. This one could have used bolstering from someone with more of an interest in the entirety of the woman.

    (image credit: A24)

  • credit: 20th Century Studios
    movie reviews

    Movie Review – Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) – *****

    In Kingsman 1, a hot young chav gets Eliza Doolittle’d by the sexy older daddy figure who grooms him to become Twink James Bond.

    There’s other movie going on here, but that’s the part I care about.

    From what I can discern, Matthew Vaughn cares about the part where he says, “What if xyz unexpected person got to be James Bond?” His idea for Kingsman is “lower class young guy becomes gentleman spy,” in much the way his idea for Argylle is “hot redhead author with a dump truck and a cat is a spy.” (I haven’t seen Argylle yet but the movie is just a Matthew Vaughn take on Romancing the Stone.)

    Of all Vaughn’s movies I’ve seen, Kingsman is most effective. It’s a genuinely good action-spy movie that also satirizes the genre. A lot of the cartoonish silliness that puts people off Kingsman 2 and (from what I hear) Argylle is deployed under tight control for this first outing. It’s the perfect balance of exciting stakes and laugh-out-loud goofiness. Vaughn wanted to make a Bond movie, and he was doing it as sincerely as he is capable.

    To enjoy Kingsman, you’ve got to have a high tolerance for violence, however cartoony; there is one church scene that is somewhat less cartoonish and much bloodier. Killing off the ruling class is done in a fashion that is absolutely meant to draw a laugh. They also expect you to laugh at people pointing guns at cute dogs at least once. (All dogs in this movie are safe; the only dead dog is one that died at 11-years-old of natural causes and is taxidermied). Mostly Kingsman leans on irreverent shock-humor intended to please teenage boys, Matthew Vaughn, and other people with a teenage boy’s sense of humor (me).

    It’s sort of funny-huh if not funny-ha-ha seeing a movie with 2014 liberal sentiments (the church is filled with bigots whose killings are justified by their use of slurs before the shoe drops) that also makes its villain what was, at the time, regarded as a liberal-leaning figure (a tech billionaire who wants to save the world).

    On that note, Samuel L. Jackson plays a cooler version of Flan Musk: a tech billionaire who wants to save the world, but he wants to be the only one who can save it, and he wants full control. There’s a bunch of sci-fi magic handwavium about SIM cards and slightly less (?) handwavium about brain chips akin to Neuralink + exploding heads. Considering Star Trek was still name-dropping Musk as some positive historic figure paving the way toward the Federation at the time, it’s almost…prescient? Or just maybe had its head up its butt less than Paramount.

    Taron Egerton is adorably convincing as Twink Bond simping for Colin Firth, who is the hottest, gayest mass-murdering gentleman spy on the planet. I think Colin Firth enjoyed playing a gay daddy so much in Mamma Mia! that he was like, “I’m gonna do this four times as hard in the spy thing.” I’ve seen him in enough movies to know the difference between Gay Firth and Straight Firth. I mean, go look at Bridget Jones. Way less of a hinged wrist in that one.

    I wouldn’t actually give this movie five stars nowadays if not for the fact it bounces on my fetish buttons. I don’t mind the objectification of the Swedish princess so much; I’m enough of a dirtbag to recognize someone else’s fetish and there are multiple non-stereotyped woman characters elsewhere. I just don’t get much a laugh out of generalizing about anyone needing to die. Funny coming from someone who is uniformly opposed to the very existence of a ruling class, I know; obviously I disagree with the church bigots on everything too. I just don’t care for stylization that involves dehumanizing any group of people. The world is actually too terrible for that. Leftist idealogues are just as dangerous as right wing ones and if we pretend *anyone* deserves to die en masse (like working class henchmen) then we’re on a slippery slope. Plus, Kingsman 3 totally undermines any radical message Kingsman 1 may have allowed in its interpretations.

    But then again, we have Daddy Firth taking home his twink to teach him how to be a real man, and my Clitoris Activation Process also disabled the Rational Thinky Brain part of me, and all I can say is “that’s my fetish.gif” so of course it’s five stars. Taron Egerton spends a lot of time avenging his hot daddyfigure, like. So hot. Silly, homoerotic, unserious, great action scenes, smart satirization of a genre – this is peak Vaughn, and I have fun rewatching it every time.

    Throw this one on the pile of “best examples of a franchise that aren’t part of the franchise” movies with Galaxy Quest and Willy’s Wonderland.

    (image credit: 20th Century Studios)

  • sara reads the feed

    Rory In Space, hammer cars, …and a movie?

    I have cardiac funkiness going on so I’m trying to reduce caffeine. Less soda, more tea (which has a fraction of the caffeine and other compounds to improve mood and balance things out). I suspect an overinvolvement of the vagus nerve thanks to quitting cannabis, since I’ve now had my thyroid tested (a previous source of tachycardia) and an ECG and everything looks fine. I’m still gonna get a referral to cardio to make doubly-triply sure, but in the meantime, Foggy Sara remains behind the driver’s wheel of life.

    zzz

    ~

    Odysseus successfully landed on the Moon, which means that one of Rory’s stories is sitting pretty on a microSD card on the lunar surface. Unnecessary space litter? Kinda cool? Both? (Engadget)

    ~

    Did Da Vinci have strabismus, and did it help his art? (Ars Technica via Pocket)

    ~

    The Community movie script is “almost done” but Dan Harmon says every script is “almost done,” which I take to mean it’s not nearly as close as Donald Glover (and the rest of us) were hoping. (Variety)

    ~

    The Tumblr CEO woke up and chose transphobia out of fear of a car covered in hammers exploding multiple times and sending hammers everywhere. (TechCrunch)

    ~

    You’ve probably already heard Vice is shutting down (Al Jazeera English), continuing the extreme degree of media control that private capital is forcefeeding us. We’re definitely in a regression era. Still no bottom in sight.

    ~

    BookRiot shares eight “no plot just vibes” books. I just read “My Year of Rest & Relaxation” and loved how plotless it was tbh. I want to write a plotless book soon.

    ~

    A state and hospital system is jerking around a young quadriplegic who doesn’t want to be forced out of her state (and further away from her school). (NPR) In fact, the North Carolina hospital is suing this lass, who has extremely reasonable desires and needs.

  • sara reads the feed

    sara sleeps on the feed

    It turns out I can’t get any movie-watching done when I spend my days at medical appointments, editing my book, and other things that require my full attention during the day. At night, I’m still watching Doc Martin, which is the greatest show ever made.

    I’m still pretty tired and disorganized right now. I have to pull back on caffeine a bit too, so my mood is dropping more now than it did quitting weed. Is it just me, or is caffeine kinda awful to quit? Worse than weed, anyway. Headaches, *dreadful* mood, so depressed and sleepy and sluggish…

    Somehow I’m also more anxious. Or maybe it’s just the depression being loud. I don’t know, my thoughts are no good.

    ~

    I’m working on a longer Jon Stewart Returns essay, but Comedy Central got very high viewership numbers from his return so he’s definitely not going anywhere. (Variety) Roy Wood Jr was smart to clear out.

    ~

    Excitingly, a novel drug for combating severe food allergies has been approved by the FDA. (NPR)

    ~

    In January, Tor published a book called Gothikana using AI-generated elements on the cover. (Publisher’s Weekly) They did a really good job making me want nothing to do with the book. I also don’t know if Tor is still on my bucket list publishers. I’m kinda over the whole thing.

    ~

    Colossal has shared the beautiful, eerie world of Alexis Trice’s weeping animals.

    ~

    The leads of Avatar: The Last Airbender’s live Netflix adaptation used to fight over napping room on the back of the Appa figure. That’s so adorable. (Variety)

    ~

    Face filters can be a fun way to visualize ourselves as we are not. I used to like seeing aging filters. I look exactly like my beautiful mommy, which is very reassuring. This lovely lady saw herself as a lady for the first time thanks to genderswap filters. Heart-warming, genuinely. (NPR)

    ~

    Morph will be nonbinary in the X-Men 1997 cartoon. (AIPT Comics) As usual, people will die mad about it. (TSFKA Twitter)

    ~

    “With a mass 17 billion times larger than our sun, this black hole is the fastest-growing black hole ever recorded, Australian National University said.” From NPR: Scientists have found a black hole so large it eats the equivalent of one sun per day

    ~

    Apple is going to make sure nobody can read our text messages except Apple, tyvm. Even when quantum computery stuff gets to be more a thing. (Ars Technica)

    ~

    It’s nice to see previous generations of creators acknowledge changing formats with respect. Martin Scorsese is actually listening to his daughter, I guess? I don’t think he’s growing a *lot* but he’s growing so much more than many of his peers, and that’s cool. (Variety)

    ~

    NASA is looking for people to live in its Mars simulator a while. Don’t get excited unless you have a master’s degree. (NPR)

    ~

    The actor dog (dogtor?) from Anatomy of a Fall is SUCH a good dog. YES YOU ARE. YES YOU ARE DOGGY. YES YOU ARE. (Variety)

  • sara reads the feed

    Low-key grumpy commentary on currentish events

    I am so off-kilter. Has weed withdrawal gotten worse in the 2-3 week mark, or is something else funky going on? There’s so many things going on, except being productive. Maybe PMS. Maybe grieving. Maybe cutting back on caffeine. I don’t know, I’m barely alive right now.

    It’s been a minute since I posted an SRF. I’m going to try to just include links that are “current,” but I might have missed updates on stories – feel free to let me know if I’ve got something old here.

    ~

    Mathematicians solve the “reverse sprinkler” problem. (Ars Technica) I didn’t know this was a problem, but it’s a pretty funny mental image.

    ~

    Lindsay Lohan is getting a St. Paddy’s Day Netflix romcom. (TSFKA Twitter) I really liked her Netflix Christmas romcom, so I’m excited for this.

    ~

    There’s going to be a “Roddenberry Archive” available on the Apple Vision Pro allowing you to walk around various Star Trek locations. (Reactor) If you can’t spend $3500 on the face brick, you are kindly invited to gfy.

    (You can find pretty cool Star Trek ship-themed rooms on Steam, for free, if you have a plebeian face brick.)

    ~

    I like very-prehistoric times. For “Out of Darkness,” which is a movie about paleolithic nomads, they made a conlang for their actors to speak throughout the film. It sounds interesting. (Variety)

    ~

    There’s a GMO purple tomato that was created by mixing tomato DNA with snapdragon DNA. It’s a very pretty color and said to include some bonus healthy compounds that are sciencey wordy stuff. (NPR) They want to make people less afraid of GMOs, but I am not sure home gardeners are the people most worried about GMOs.

    ~

    Crypto lost a ton of its shine when its advocates realized it is, indeed, very very traceable, and thus not a great way to hide illegal purchases after all. Of course we are now getting around to expecting large crypto miners to report their energy use (Ars Technica), when we should really be looking at kneecapping AI-generated energy use imo. Really we should be hitting everything like this. It’s madly exploitative against humans and the planet humans need to live on. Like, it’s not the time for this, even if it wasn’t bland and mushy (commentary of mine off TSKFA Twitter).

    ~

    I still think Free Public College is a great idea, but people looked at the actual proposals from Warren and Sanders (Crooked Timber) and found that it would have pretty much just benefited rich kids as usual. Mostly because there was no real oomph behind the proposals. Entirely unserious. I guess this is the best the institution has had to offer leftist ideas in a while. :/

    ~

    Her Hands, My Hands reviews When Grumpy Met Sunshine.

    ~

    The director of Prey, one of my fav movies of 2022, is getting another Predator-franchise film. (Reactor)

    ~

    In Ohio, a pastor was housing homeless people at his church. The state said “absolutely fucking not.” (NPR) The pastor said “but it’s my religion!” The state said “okay but you have to do a bunch of renovation because we can’t have you doing something imperfect that we are totally disinterested in doing ourselves.”

    ~

    A Southern Nevada judge has been developing a court tailored toward working with autistic offenders. (NPR)

    ~

    Vaccines are rad. (NPR) There’s now an ebola vaccine that halves the risk of death, even if you receive the vaccine after becoming ill.

    ~

    Sneakily entertaining show that didn’t get traction is ending with four seasons + bonus episodes. (Variety) I watched the first season of Evil but fell off ages ago. It actually was quite good though.

    ~

    I always like Psyche’s articles, and this one introduces “rhetorical figleaves” to add to the concept of “racist dogwhistles.” Blah on the subject matter but it’s interesting.

  • movie reviews

    Movie Review: This Is Me…Now (2024) ****

    One day, Jennifer Lopez woke up and looked at herself in the mirror. She gripped the sink in both hands and leaned forward, slowly, to look herself dead in the eye, and say: “Nobody will even remember Beyonce’s Lemonade after me.”

    Then she spent twenty million dollars, and she told herself, “I’m Gene Kelly. I’m Janet Jackson in Rhythm Nation. I am a giant mechanical hummingbird. I am a lesbian heart factory. I am a visionary.”

    And Ben Affleck replied, “I will support you in this if we never make eye contact again and I can wear Donald Trump face paint.”

    For an hour, Jennifer Lopez goes to therapy.

    Fat Joe listens to her attentively. So does the Zodiac Counsel. For some reason Sadhguru is Pisces. Sadhguru is an actual irl guru and also he is standing beside Sophia Vergara who says “sometimes I eat my own hair.”

    “Solipsism? I was going to include her, but her agent said she was too busy for the shoot,” JLo says with enormous doe eyes and a fake-AI version of her face.

    ~

    I’m so supportive of a delusional milf wasting her money on self-aggrandizing nonsense.

    Every minute of “This is Me…Now” that is over-stylized chaotic nonsense is perfection. You should know I just gave five stars to Chopping Mall. That’s where I come from when I say this is perfection.

    Lots of this is boring. About seven hours into the sixty-minute film, I got very tired of JLo, innocent victim of love addiction. Then I reached the final number and I wished it was boring again because someone who cannot dance should never, ever evoke Gene Kelly in a professional setting. I support her delusional bad-dancing in most scenarios, i.e. bad-dancing in the kitchen while making cookies. Twenty million dollars of delusional bad-dancing in Gene Kelly style is asking a lot. Even from me. Who mostly wanted to motorboat her.

    “I can fix her,” I whispered at the TV, a lot. JLo is so beautiful. I think? We didn’t really see her face at any point. The Snapchat filters were almost as busy as the autotune in this. Also I was very distracted by the heart wedding dress that aaaalmost flashed her JLussy at us.

    AI-generated JLo looks incredible in every single incarnation, whether she’s Heart Maintenance Dyke or if she’s Flying Off a Motorcycle or if she’s Watching Sadhguru Marry Her Friends or if she’s in Abusive Boyfriend Bondage Gear or–

    Oh, the intro of this twenty million dollar video is absolutely AI-generated. Can you imagine? Twenty million dollars and she mostly spent it hiring Kim Petras to be Virgo, the virgin. (I’m sure Kim Petras finds this as funny as I do.)

    ~

    James Cameron is not a milf and he spends many more millions (billions) of dollars on racist, self-aggrandizing nonsense, inflicting upon the world a franchise which is deeply derivative and forces us to attempt to take CGI teenage alien Sigourney Weaver seriously.

    Darren Aronofsky makes the most solipsistic, self-indulgent crap like mother! and then he gets Oscars for a spectacularly fat-hating movie.

    Someone gave Zack Snyder a lot of money to make Rebel Moon. On purpose.

    Not a one of them is an extremely hot milf that I want to motorboat. They might as well shove their bloated budgets up their bungholes for all I care.

    Let Jennifer Lopez be delusional. Let her make a terrible auto-tuned album about how she’s learned she needs to love her Thanos-snapped-flower-petal child version of herself burn in an all-women heart reactor in the Love Factory. Let the lady dance badly!

    I would have given this steaming load of nonsense five stars if the intro and credits aren’t AI-generated. I believe in Women’s Wrongs. I’d much rather have a fully authentic-to-self, batshit insane, completely off-the-wall music video that is boring for a solid 30 minutes and ridiculous for the other 30 than another mother!. That said, forcing me to listen to Neil deGrasse Tyson should actually be a war crime, and I hope her next project is in a women’s prison to atone for her sins. I’ll be waiting for her there. (I can fix her.)

  • Diaries

    even my third eye is sleepy

    Although I’m not actively practicing yoga atm, I’ve been studying it (as I am wont to do with random subjects). I like to study stuff by getting into communities and absorbing discussions.

    I just saw someone talking about how he’s done yoga and meditation a long while, and after his third eye opened*, he just didn’t care about over-performing at his job anymore. He was in a really competitive field and started getting poor evaluations because he stopped striving to meet stressful goals.

    (*A lot of people don’t like talking third eye or other spiritual/metaphysical concepts, but I argue it is only terminology, and we can call it whatever we want. I am not a literalist. The general concept here is reaching a kind of personal understanding that you feel like…everything makes sense. Self and universe in unity.)

    I opened my third eye a while ago. Now I’ve been off weed for three weeks, it has not closed (yet?). I still have this deep, profound sense of peace gained from years of psychedelic meditation. I am just not interested in artifice, external goals, or performing.

    I spent my 20s chasing goals but didn’t get satisfaction when I achieved them. Literally I did not celebrate hitting the New York Times Bestseller list. Didn’t celebrate when I hit my first million sales. Nor when I got an agent. Or any of the other milestones that seemed to matter so much when I was younger. It was everything for so long, and I spent so much time working on it, and then I realized it didn’t make me happy. I was so accomplished and i was never happy. I was just more scared.

    I am happy now. And so I am satisfied with what I accomplished Back Then, more than I used to be, but…I did that, so why would I go back to chasing goals again? I know now that isn’t where happiness rests. Happiness is something I can only give myself. It’s a matter of surrender and presence in the moment. (Theoretically I could feel this while chasing goals but I haven’t figured it out yet.)

    When I think about what matters now, it’s basically my family, of the furry persuasion and otherwise. It’s both scary to know that I can’t keep them forever (as losing my darling Annie has reminded me, yet again) but it’s also so satisfying to know I am with my family now and we are together and this moment is really good, and it doesn’t feel like anything matters beyond distributing snuggles and emotional support to mi familia. I’m just gazing at my dogs while I type this lol.

    Obviously I’m still doing stuff. I am still writing a lot and have a couple trunked books. I’m gonna finish Fated for Firelizards because I think it’s important to complete some projects. I am drawing and crocheting constantly, too. But I’m not doing any of this because I wanna accomplish anything beyond the moment of engagement with it. I’m not sure how to tell people what they will get out of interacting with my art (my purses are chaotic, my game is weird, my reviews are silly) because I am just experiencing the creation of it.

    I don’t feel unsatisfied, or like anything is missing. Art is just something I do because I am here and that is one of my most fundamental methods of self-expression and it’s rather like breathing, dreaming, thinking, or anything else I can’t stop.

    The weirdest thing about this peaceful state is the fact that I seem to no longer have any relevance in the world, and the world has minimal relevance to me, and I’m not entirely sure what to make of that. Surely this is not sustainable, just existing peacefully.

    I think the most hilarious side-effect of my shifted attitudes is that I give the vast majority of movies 5* because I just think they’re nice. lol. Did the movie establish and meet its goals? Was I amused? Five stars for you! And you! Five stars everywhere!