• Adam Sandler yelling at a golf ball
    movie reviews

    Movie Review: Happy Gilmore (1996) *****

    Happy Gilmore is a classic Adam Sandler comedy about an unsuccessful hockey player who turns to golf to save his grandmother’s house. He’s a really bad temperamental match for golf. His fiery moods mean he holds a record for being the only high school hockey player who took off his skate to stab someone. Golf is not sure what to make of a low-class, swearing, punching kind of player.

    Yet he has an outstanding slap shot, and he can drive golf balls unimaginable distances. This draws the attention of a golf legend named Chubbs, who urges him to play and hopes to cultivate Happy’s career. Once Happy realizes he can earn enough money to buy his Grandma’s house, he’s not interested in the sustained career part; he just wants to go whack balls until he can get a few oversized checks about it.

    Naturally we need a snooty, upper-class heel to serve as Happy’s foil. Here we get a hysterical Shooter McGavin. He believes he “deserves” the win on the tour where Happy butts in. Shooter’s paid his dues and played for his entire life. It’s his turn! But he’s such a dick, he earns Happy’s ire in return. While Happy gets better at golf, Shooter gets worse as a human being, and eventually they meet in the middle.

    This is the perfect comedy for, say, a thirteen-year-old audience. It’s a family movie because everyone can laugh and have fun with it. But really, it’s mostly for the young teens. That’s where the titular character’s emotional development stands. Happy’s priorities are also mostly on par (lol) with thirteen-year-olds: taking care of your adorable grandma, punching people who make you angry, and proving everybody wrong.

    Don’t come here looking for sophisticated jokes; this is the kind of flick where you’re meant to laugh because it’s just so dang *silly*. I could rattle off jokes for a while. “You’re gonna die, clown!” “The price is wrong, bitch!” “You suck! Jackass!” Truly nothing that’s funny out of context. But in context, with the actors’ delivery, and the generally goofy atmosphere, it’s a complete crack-up.

    Although the movie is quite dated now (we’re approaching 30 years), Happy Gilmore is fair timeless. As an example: They textually say his show is The Price is Right, so when Bob Barker says “the price is wrong” and punches Happy, we get the reference regardless. And there is nothing funnier than watching a younger adult like Happy get his ass handed to him by an old man, even if you don’t have pleasant daytime TV associations with Bob Barker.

    With a well-structured screenplay that has a few cute surprises and a short runtime for the attention span minimalists, I think Happy Gilmore’s going to remain a classic for generations.

  • A brown pitbull enjoying ear rubs
    sara reads the feed

    Biodiversity, disparate political opinions, and liberated house plants

    It’s warm enough now for me to start putting houseplants outside. The season for doing this safely is rather narrow in my region — just a couple months where I can trust it won’t really freeze overnight. (Probably.)

    Normally I’m champing at the bit to get things outside. I always have mealybugs, and sometimes aphids. But I think I’ve got more insect/arachnid life inside my house in general. I’ve been seeing a lot more spiders in particular. Everything mostly sticks to the plants, and it means fewer pests without necessarily more work on my behalf to remove them.

    Still, I should get some stuff outside. They fare the winter indoors much better when they’ve had summer sun and water from my stream bolstering their strength for a couple months. At least my bird of paradise deserves more sunlight; I might try to get my bigundo African milk tree euphorbia out there too.

    Tbh the Big Guys mostly wanna go out, and I’m kinda not keen on lifting them, heh.

    ~

    Spotify announced that “Stargirl” from Lana del Rey and The Weeknd hit a billion streams, which is a first for any interlude. This is notable to me because it was basically the first song I latched onto from the album many years ago. I remember telling my friends it was my fav off the album and playing it for them, and the reaction was, “…Okay?” I feel so validated now.

    I always like interstitials from albums — they tend to be more emotional, sometimes orchestral, and more to my taste. They’re just never long enough. Not sure if it’s possible to capture what tends to be so delicious about these interludes if you add a couple more minutes onto them, but I must believe it is.

    ~

    I’m really looking forward to Bruce Timm’s next Batman tv show. (EW) Like many 90s kids, I love(d) Batman the Animated Series. He’s doing a bit of something different with the new one: a darker Harley Quinn, a less-Bruce Batman, a classic Catwoman costume, and making a few characters nonwhite.

    The Harley change is most interesting, probably. But I note that they’ve made Gordon a Black man now. This follows a trend where movies/tv make cops Black people. It always feels off-tune to me.

    There are certainly plenty of nonwhite American cops, but our police force come directly from a history of finding enslaved people who escaped. (The Harvard Gazette) The same article says that “Black men are 5.9 times as likely to be incarcerated as white men and Hispanic men are 3.1 times as likely,” and “Black and Latinx people were less likely to have their cases resolved through pretrial probation ­— a way to dismiss charges if the accused meet certain conditions — and receive much longer sentences than their white counterparts.”

    Point being, the system is oriented toward white supremacy; it feels perverse to make Black folks the fictional face of fictional police. But movies/tv do it again and again. It seems like people want to be able to say “THESE ones are the good guys” without actually taking any responsibility for unpacking issues at the heart of American policing. I always ask myself, why does cop media get to benefit from the aesthetics of policing/detective noir/etc without any of the responsibility?

    This is a bigger issue about anything in the genre. I’ve written police-genre stuff that is plenty flawed in its own ways. I just feel very attached to Bruce Timm Batman, so this one has me especially reflective now, with my changed and grown perspective.

    Of course the cartoon may surprise me. BtAS was always more complicated than its contemporary peers.

    ~

    M Gould Hawke, an âpihtawikosisân (Métis-Cree) writer, wrote an interesting post about how anarchists have never been unified on a stance irt Israel and Palestine. This blog directly quotes many anarchists throughout the last century-ish.

    The more I study anarchism, the more I see how anarchist individuals are just that: extremely individual. There is far less sectarianism than you might expect in major political orientations.

    Hence, whenever I think, “If ABC has anarchist leanings, and DEF does too, then they surely agree on XYZ” — that is quite likely to be wrong. Individualism has strong meanings when associated with anarchy. Trying to find an article to cite with this thought was basically impossible, because I found hundreds of articles about individualism irt anarchy and they all had different things to say.

    I guess I should have seen that coming, haha.

    ~

    Lawyers, Guns, & Money noted that we don’t seem to have learned anything from COVID in relation to work conditions. If bird flu becomes a major concern in the USA, dairy workers will be the initial vector, and we’re not testing/tracking them. (The Guardian)

    I’m not getting into bird flu much today though. I’m thinking more about the conjunction between changing climate and disease.

    Smithsonian Mag posted an article about how declining biodiversity feeds into disease.

    Researchers aimed to avoid a human-centric approach to their analysis, considering also how plants and animals would be at risk from pathogens. Their conclusions showed that four of the examined factors—climate change, chemical pollution, the introduction of non-native species to new areas and biodiversity loss—all increased the likelihood of spreading disease, with the latter having the most significant impact.

    Disease and mortality were nearly nine times higher in areas of the world where human activity has decreased biodiversity, compared to the levels expected by Earth’s natural variation in biodiversity, per the Washington Post.

    Scientists hypothesize this finding could be explained by the “dilution effect”: the idea that pathogens and parasites evolve to thrive in the most common species, so the loss of rarer creatures makes infection more likely.

    I predict we’re going to hear more about biodiversity specifically in the coming years. Climate change is quite politicized as a subject; activists must look for other ways to motivate change without touching inflamed nerves as quickly.

    I say this because I’m starting to see more articles about biodiversity in general. Chris Armstrong at Crooked Timber just noted that legislating irt biodiversity loss has failed so far. (As usual, don’t bother reading the comments.) AJE highlighted struggles over Jilobi Forest as a “biodiversity hotspot” specifically. The Guardian has been looking at limited biodiversity in England and Wales’s national parks. And so on.

    Tangentially related: It’s worth noting that USDA hardiness zones changed in the last couple years. The biodiversity increases possible in your own back yard might surprise you compared to, say, a decade ago. It’s kind of exciting for gardeners (my area is warmer in the winter, hence needing fewer cold hardy plants) if not for the environment.

    ~

    Fights for labor rights around the globe continue. Employees of Vatican Museums are demanding better treatment, (The Guardian) and I wish the best for them.

    Apple retail employees are also looking at striking in Maryland. (Quartz)

    ~

    Solar maximum hasn’t caused as many obvious infrastructural problems as it seemed it might. But you know who is getting hit? Farmers relying on precision GPS. (Engadget)

  • Diaries,  sara reads the feed

    Grooming the yard, some cool biology news, and medicine stuff

    This weekend has been the high-intensity solar storm, and so far, we haven’t had any of the society-ending infrastructure damage I heard might be possible. (Knock on wood.) Although I didn’t get to see much aurora last night — only the faintest hints of hue change in the sky — I got to have some lovely walking time with my family when it was gorgeous and warm. Plus, I got to look at the sun spot through Little Sunshine’s eclipse glasses. That one dark spot is apparently fifteen times the size of Earth, so that was cool.

    Seeing all the aurora photos on social media is just lovely. It’s nice how far the auroras borealis and australis made it — a unifying experience shared by so many that is a *pretty* thing. Something humbling that reminds us of our solar scale. I wish we united over loveliness more often. I know there must be more opportunities than we notice.

    Generally today was a really nice day. Even if my mental health is in the pits. Every idle moment, I’m engulfed by existential terror — probably a sign I need to supplement iron again. I’m having digestive issues and my absorption is probably also in the pits. Existential terror is a common symptom of anemia, for me.

    Anyway, I stayed active by working in the yard. It’s a lot easier and more pleasant now that I’m less afraid of bugs. Indoor gardening really gifted me with an interest in entomology. Now when I’m pulling little beetles out of my hair and having spiders run over my foot, I’m zen. My yard is extremely biodiverse, heh. It’s a good thing! But we have to clean up a bit. While I was performing the act of weeding, trimming, and raking, I felt great. How could I not feel great in the shade of these enormous mature trees I’ve shared the last decade with?

    I’m sure I’ll be sore tomorrow.

    I also helped cut hair on three members of the family today, myself included. Husband looks great. Kiddo didn’t want to hold still for a proper cut, so it’s messy, but he’s adorable anyway. I also trimmed myself and fixed my bangs a bit. I think it’s a significant improvement, even though I maybe went a little too choppy. I feel good about that.

    Somehow I also got almost a thousand words of writing done. I’m not sure I’m done for the night (two hours until midnight, not sleepy yet), but I’d be good with what I achieved. What I’m writing is as disgusting as my real life is warm and lovely. I’ve always been kinda like that! Ever since my spouse and I forged a life together, we’ve managed to have an extremely lovely time, while my tastes have continued running demented and dark. This is the most demented thing I’ve ever written, though.

    I’m feeling motivated to finish it even if I’m not working super fast, so that’s excellent too.

    ~

    One of the many formerly scary insects I’ve come to appreciate is wasps. They’re just part of the whole cycle, you know? I try to stay out of their way.

    It turns out some wasps are even mysterious, fascinating creatures. Microplitis demolitor cultivates viruses inside its body. (Ars Technica)

    According to the article, these parasitic wasps actually domesticated a novel virus to wreck the immune systems of their prey. It makes it easier to force caterpillars to carry their babies. You gotta check the details, it’s rad.

    How have wasps evolved to control their pet viruses? Most important, they’ve neutered them. The virus particles can’t reproduce because they don’t contain the genes that are crucial to building new virus particles. Those remain in the wasp genome.

    Wasps also control where and when the domesticated virus particles are produced, presumably to reduce the risk of the virus going rogue. Bracovirus particles are made only in one pocket of the female’s reproductive tract, and only for a limited time.

    And key virus genes have been lost altogether such that the domesticated viruses cannot replicate their own DNA. This loss is seen even in recently domesticated viruses, suggesting that it’s an important first step.

    A more worrying virus, bird flu, continues to present issues for the American beef supply. I found this Al Jazeera English article about it to be interesting — they’re not afraid to talk about things that a lot of American news media veers away from. For instance, Colombia, Mexico, and Canada have placed new testing restrictions on our exports, or won’t take products from states with outbreaks. Testing at American dairies is still optional. Cows get tested crossing state lines, though.

    We’re sending samples of this virus to a facility in the UK for further testing. (The Guardian)

    Elsewhere on the food chain, we’ve identified a psychedelic toad toxin with potential medicinal uses. (Smithsonian Mag) They’re hoping this will be useful for treating depression and anxiety — with the hallucinogenic effects removed. So far they’ve tested the Sonoran desert toad’s toxin on mice, with promising results, but apparently it’ll be a long time before they can make anything approved for human use.

    I’ve always understood psychedelic compounds from nature to be medicine, but it’s always nice to see research honing these uses.

    ~

    Scarier to me than psychedelic toads or wasp-domesticated viruses is the new weight loss procedure where doctors burn part of the stomach lining. (Gizmodo via Quartz) I guess the hunger hormone, ghrelin, mostly comes from the mucosal lining near the fundus (the top bit, to put it plainly). The idea is that you burn the stomach so it produces less ghrelin. I have digestive issues, as I mentioned, and I often feel like my stomach is already eating itself alive. I’d really rather not burn it further. Shudder.

    How badly do we want people to lose weight? Semaglutide products are linked to rare but severe side-effects like gastroparesis. (NBC News) That means stomach paralysis, more or less. There are also many serious risks to older weight loss surgeries, like lap band surgery occasionally letting stomach juices leak into the abdomen. (Stanford Health Care)

    Supposedly these risks are less than the risks of clinical obesity. This is probably sometimes true. But a lot of these treatments are available for less-serious cases (especially Ozempic et al), and I worry that we’re putting a cultural fear & loathing of fatness ahead of actual safety.

    Which is to say, I’m not jumping toward any weight loss procedures, though I currently qualify as Class I Obese. Vanity and fear be damned. I’m just gonna try to move my body more and eat more green stuff.

    We are making really cool medical advancements in general, though. The case of children having hearing restored via gene therapy (which is a quick procedure, apparently) is really encouraging. (The Guardian) This specific treatment is only for one specific kind of hearing impairment, of course. But it was unthinkable when I was young. The stuff of science fiction. What else are we going to be able to do in twenty years?

  • image credit: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
    movie reviews

    Movie Review – TRON: Legacy (2010) – **

    I always want to rate Tron: Legacy better than I feel it deserves. When I’m watching it, I’m overwhelmingly bored. The conversations drag on for so long. The dialogue is too uninspired to justify this. The worldbuilding is intriguing, but shallow.

    Yet characters-inside-computers is among my favorite things ever (see also: Reboot and The Animatrix). The aesthetic is excellent—I want to live somewhere that looks like this. The costumes are so cool. Whenever I think about T:L, those are the things I think about. The lengthy slow conversation scenes simply don’t stick in my mind. So I kinda love it when I’m not watching it and melt into the floor out of boredom when I do.

    This also is one of my favorite movie scores of all time. Truly, Daft Punk did 90% of the heavy lifting here. This movie could have been vastly worse and the score would have made it watchable. It’s almost not worth remarking on the movie attached to the score. The work might be Daft Punk’s magnum opus, whereas the movie is incredibly middling work.

    I could even forgive the horrid de-aging CGI if they just did more fighting. Please! Let the stunt people cook! More light bikes!

    Part of what frustrates me about T:L is that other things are *so* good too. Michael Sheen as Zuse is an absolute gas. I want to be a queer-coded villain dancing to Daft Punk while the betrayed heroes get their arms chopped off. The action scenes are a delirious delight, and if they’d just had 50% more action and 50% less talking, it would probably be a 5* movie.

    Yet being very close to greatness still managed to land Tron: Legacy squarely into a very boring place.

    It is interesting to note that I used to think of this as a bad movie. I no longer do. Mostly because recent Disney movies have reset the bar on being bad and boring on a whole new level: cynical, nonsensical, and often feeling cheap despite bloated budgets. I mean, I hadn’t seen all the live action Renaissance Disney remakes yet. But this feels genuinely heartfelt. They were tackling a difficult project with real gusto, and it just didn’t turn out. The CGI looks aged but not cheap. (Even the bad de-aging CGI looks expensive.)

    Somehow this movie is a two-star “love.” It’s bad. I want to skip most of it. I’m obsessed with it. I could make this my entire life.

    (image credit: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

  • Zendaya smirking in Challengers. Image credit: Amazon MGM Studios
    movie reviews

    Movie Review: Challengers (2024) ***

    Even Luca Guadagigno can’t make me want to watch a sports movie. My reaction to Challengers says a lot more about me and my personal tastes than it says about the movie itself: Just like a terrible, dreadful movie can push all my buttons so I love it (like Repo! The Genetic Opera), a great movie can push all my “ugh” buttons in a way that leaves me cold.

    I like women. I get really bored with men. The rising female tennis star is one of the three leads in this movie; unfortunately, the movie isn’t quite as interested in Tashi as it is in Tashi’s sports-related ambitions and make-two-boys-kiss ambitions.

    The boys really want to kiss, but they need an excuse. Tashi wants them to take tennis and boy-kissing more seriously and mashes them together until that happens. I know! It sounds great. Evidently, based on others’ reviews, most people think this is absolutely great.

    The sports aesthetic and sheer amount of gay male-gaze testosterone sweating off the screen just made me want it to end.

    (Aside from when Zendaya is in her underwear.)

    I got real Machiavellian asexual vibes from Tashi, which is theoretically cool, but again — all the sports and testosterone. The way she manipulates should be cool! But it’s all about men! Making men do things. I just don’t care that much. The men are very sexual. There are dongs. There’s so many rippling abdominals. So many men sweating in locker rooms and saunas while having boy drama. It’s just…nothing I’m interested in.

    But boy, can I respect it. Luca Guadagigno is still a really good director. Although I wasn’t convinced by the chemistry of Art and Patrick initially, the story made up for it. And I do enjoy the *idea* of everything that’s happening. But when something is so much about male desire, exerted in all the wrong directions (according to Tashi), I just cannot get into it.

    Something about the sweaty pulsing score by Trent Reznor et al, which sounds like it should play in a gays-only gym, made this feel soapier. I caught myself thinking about May December again. May December was more overtly soapier and trashier though, whereas Challengers is glossy enough to be a Gatorade ad (sans Gatorade).

    I totally see why so many people like it; I thought it was fine and also wanted it to stop. This one just call to me the way that Luca Guadagigno’s sapphic answer to Call Me By Your Name did. (Yes, I’m talking about Suspiria.) (In Guadagigno movies, twinks sweat for each other; sapphics gush blood. I know which I prefer more clearly than ever.)

    (image credit: Amazon MGM Studios)

  • sara reads the feed

    A publishing update and springtime weather, among other things

    The weather is doing that Nevada Springtime Thing where it’s vacillating between hot and cold. This is so rough on me. I’m alive when it’s hot and I’m dead when it’s cold. When it gets hot then warm, my body registers it as cold. Fifty degrees feels totally different depending on whether I’m on the way up or down. Fifty degrees isn’t cold! Unless it was seventy degrees a couple days ago.

    I’ve been getting out to walk irregularly, at weird times. Today was the first time I did my regular-ish morning walk like a normal warm day. I think it’s only going to get warmer from here, but you really never know with Nevada.

    ~

    I’m trying out a new mass email provider. Being able to contact readers about new books is essential, and mailing lists tend to be the backbone of publishing, no matter how old-timey it feels. I mean, emails? BookTok is all anyone has wanted to talk about for a while. Maybe looping people into Patreon. But just straight emails?

    It works for a lot of people quite reliably. It has always *kinda* worked for me. I don’t know if the issue has been writing my emails badly, or my domain being disliked by providers, or if the emails I have just aren’t great quality. I made most of my sell-through on books starting in with freebies. Freebie readers tend to have totally different patterns than those who will buy books at full price.

    My new email provider doesn’t seem to have improved anything over my last ones (deliverability, open/click rate), but at least I have one again. I lost the old guy because I didn’t send any emails in way too long. Getting things back together has been…not fabulous.

    Anyway, I’ve had no pleasant surprises with this release, but it’s still a release. I’m still always grateful that any number of people read my books at all. Period. It doesn’t feel real?

    I’m doing all the stuff I can control, that I’m also willing to do. I’m not going back on Patreon or learning Kickstarter any time soon. I seem to have lost the hunger that used to motivate me to do insane backflips to pull something resembling success out my butt. That’s probably for the best. Learning to temper my rather extreme personality kinda means learning not to care about anything so much.

    ~

    Onto reading the news.

    ~

    Readers Take Denver (a publishing conference for readers) was such a disaster that it hit mainstream-ish news. Here’s the NYPost calling it the Fyre Festival of Books.

    I didn’t pay a lot of attention like this because I’m the hermit kind of author, not the conference kind of author, but enormous anger radiated through the spaces to which I am still tangential.

    ~

    The outlook for Tiktok in the USA isn’t good. Our government wants to ban it if the owner doesn’t sell to Americans. ByteDance is suing (The Guardian), but time will tell if that’s effective.

    In the meantime, Substack is trying to coax creators over. (Engadget) You know, Substack? With the Nazis? (The Atlantic)

    Nowhere is perfect. But I wish we’d have a resurgence in creatives simply self-hosting content. Discoverability is a challenge, but…isn’t it always?

    ~

    Various states are arresting student protesting against the attack on Palestine. Quite a few of the students have accepted this. (NPR)

    Cornell University doctoral student Momodou Taal was suspended for participating in a pro-Palestinian encampment.

    “The school has deemed that my activity or my participation on campus is a threat somehow,” Taal said.

    Taal was never arrested, but his involvement with a pro-Palestinian team negotiating with Cornell University administrators got him suspended, he said.

    He is now in a fairly unique position.Taal is a British student, and a suspension could lead to him losing his international student visa.

    “Fundamentally, I risked all that I’ve risked so far for what I believe is a just cause, and that’s the Palestinian cause,” Taal said.

    Some teachers are getting arrested along with their students. At that point, it’s turning into a class for everyone involved. (DMagazine)

    This isn’t going to be the first generation of students with activist arrest records.

    But arrests aren’t even required. An encampment developed on Trinity College, (The Guardian) and the college committed to divesting from Israel. The protesters dispersed peacefully. There are other ways to do this.

    ~

    Quanta Magazine talks about intelligence in insects. I also recently linked an article about plants having some kind of intelligence. (NPR)

    I’ve always thought there’s likely more consciousness/intelligence in the living world than we’re willing to accept. My assumption is that this is for practical purposes. We’re empathetic, social creatures. If we really believed that everything had some kind of mind — maybe a soul — like we do, would we be able to end those lives as easily? on the scale required to support human civilizations? Is dismissiveness about coping?

    I don’t think it’s all about the empathy, though. Colonial cultures and religions just want to think that they are above other things, and that they have a right — nay, the divine obligation — to destroy things that are lesser. That’s probably why the idea of insect and plant intelligence won’t ever get more than fringe traction.

    Maybe if science keeps pulling out cool discoveries, like the fact whales seem to have a phonetic language (Smithsonian Mag), attitudes will shift somewhat.

    ~

    I feel like I’m always reading about cool archaeological finds in random UK places. (The Guardian) All I get to dig out of my garden is stray cat shit. I’m not jealous, you are.

    ~

    Are you sane? Oops, I misspelled that. Are you a sriracha fan? We’re looking forward to a shortage thanks to climate change. (WaPo) Or a “severe drought.” Depends on how you read it.

    ~

    There’s an upcoming movie called “Humanist Vampire Seeks Suicidal Person.” The title alone has my attention, but there are more details at The Film Stage.

    ~

    Roblox continues intensifying its ad efforts — here with a Netflix team up. (Engadget) Nonetheless, their stock has fallen some twenty percent lately. (Quartz)

    Meanwhile, users like my kids are getting increasingly annoyed and disinterested. But maybe Roblox doesn’t care about my kids anyway. They’re starting to age out of Roblox (at thirteen and nine), and games for kids do have a limited lifespan. Maybe Roblox is betting they can catch the next generation of toddlers before they learn to care about being inundated with ads. According to the Quartz ad, daily active users have increased 17% regardless.

  • writing

    It’s only slightly harrowing to revisit the past

    First of all, please just let me say the important thing: I have published a new book.

    Fated for Firelizards is a paranormal romance where a gal ends up with a dragon. It’s mostly fun. It’s consciously didactic and radically eco-punk. I fear I’m not putting my best foot forward coming back with something that is so goofy, but hey! I like goofy. I am a goofy person. It’s a fair representation of my interests, just like my doorstopper gothic fantasy literature and my avant garde horror.

    Links are here, assuming my websites haven’t exploded from an unfamiliar volume of traffic.

    Yay! New book!

    I rewarded myself by buying a foot bath massager thingy. I’ve been doing a lot of walks out in ye olde Nevada desert, and I do most work at a standing desk, so my dogs are barking. My feet are tired too.

     

    What was the last book I published?

    That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m honestly not sure.

    I think it was either one of the Mr. Poe novels, or it was Shatter Cage’s last book, Rise of Heroes. It definitely happened *after* the beginning of the pandemic. But that’s now four years ago. It’s been a while.

    I tried to finish the last Lincoln Marshall book, but I’m still only about 1/3 of the way through. That one is difficult. It’s not my favorite series I’ve written, and I was going through weird stuff when I worked on it. Going back brings up a lot of Feelings. A lot of them aren’t great. Plus, it’s a really complex series drawing on many aspects of the Descentverse, which kinda flushed from my brain circa 2020. So I didn’t publish that one.

    What did I publish last? Has it really been three years since I put out an entire novel?

     

    It’s not like I’ve been lazing around.

    I had a book fail on submission to traditional publishing houses in 2021. Nobody wanted “You’ve Got Nudes,” a small-town romance take on “You’ve Got Mail.” There were a few reasons. For one, having a disabled sex worker as the hero wasn’t a popular idea. For another, there were other You’ve Got Mail takes that were more mainstream, so the market was kinda saturated.

    I wrote a book over 300,000 words long, too. I haven’t finished editing it.

    And I wrote about 50,000 words of a horror novel.

    Plus several other small projects.

    Perhaps more time-consuming is the fact I spent the year 2022 in college. I thought it was time to get my degree. Then I remembered I’m really bad at school, and I took a step back in early 2023 to figure out why the hell I can’t grow up and just do it. A whole year of working time! Gone. I really enjoyed it. The cellular biology class was outstanding, and I especially have made use of my art class. But I didn’t finish a degree.

    (I’m surely not the only person who feels like it would have been easier and more rewarding to set fire to money rather than fail college.)

    The second half of 2023, I spent crocheting and writing movie reviews. Plus that’s when I started on my interactive novel, Fated for Firelizards.

    And this year, I got sober-sober. That’s an accomplishment I’m especially proud of.

     

    The industry has changed and so have I.

    I’ve kept tabs on the industry, more or less, while I’ve been not-publishing. It’s not been a good few years.

    When I left, a lot of unethical practices had well taken hold in the market; the influx of AI-generated everything has only meant more Stuff produced that I can’t compete with.

    Surely if I had continued steadily writing my urban fantasy, I would have been fine. But trying to catch back up after seeing such seismic shifts leaves me a little lost.

    Nowadays, tons of authors launch on Kickstarter instead. Plus, things like BookFunnel have become major players for distributing books to readers. These require wholly different workflows/skills compared to what I used to do.

    The websites involved in publishing have changed a bit, my skills are rusty, and I have to talk myself through a lot of panicky bad feelings that come up whenever I approach the thing. I have a lotta business-related trauma that feels too private to discuss…anywhere, really.

    Just publishing Fated for Firelizards has been riddled with technical issues, major and minor. I don’t even know how to reach most of my readers at this point. Stuff has changed so much. Emails have expired. Rules around mass emails have changed. Social media visibility is hard as ever.

    And I don’t even have another book queued up to go after this one. I used to just pop ’em out, one after another.

     

    Well, I’m here. I might as well do it anyway.

    I always thought I’d get back to publishing novels — not just movie reviews, shitposts, and fanfic — so here I am.

    I’ve got more in the pipeline, albeit slowly.

    It’s weird to be here. But I am here.

    So I guess I’m doing it again.