“Presented” by Wes Craven and directed by Patrick Lussier, the Craven-esque playful style of horror is a huge boon to this Y2K take on Dracula. It’s drenched in Millennium aesthetic and design choices: everyone is young and hot, Dracula wanders around shirtlessly, and there are plenty of gooshy bloody deaths. Imagine a then-modern Dracula done in the style of Scream or Final Destination, and you’ve got Dracula 2000.
It’s not a complicated plot. Dracula comes back, as always, and he’s out for all the babes. He acquires some vampire wives. He kills a lot of people. Van Helsing and company have to kill him. It’s not twisty at all, even with its especially Catholic backstory for Dracula.
Every actor you ever watched at the turn of the century is in this movie. As my personal favorite: Jonny Lee Miller is a darling 20-something protege of an immortal, Drac-blood-addicted Van Helsing (Christopher Plummer). I’m most familiar with Miller as Sherlock in the fabulous tv show Elementary, so seeing him as an earnest thick-necked Harker-alike is absolutely darling. He’s so clean compared to Trainspotting and so unrestrained compared to Elementary. He actually kind of passes as a twinky love interest.
But the most heart-throbby character is, of course, Dracula himself. Before becoming Phantom of the Opera, Gerard Butler chews scenery and floats on vapor. He has no idea he’s in a cheesy 2000 vampire movie; he actually acts the hell out of the screenplay with his whole Dracussy. I felt like I was watching a cinematic explanation for the reason that Millennial women all want villain- and monster-loving romances these days. Sure, he kills everybody, but he also bangs babes on the ceiling. His only direct competition for Y2K New Orleans Vampire is Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned, and I confess Butler is hotter than Townsend (although Queen of the Damned is still my favorite).
You ready for the rest of the cast list? Check it out: Vitamin C (seriously), Omar Epps, Sean Patrick Thomas, Danny Masterson, Jeri Ryan, Shane West, Nathan Fillion, and Jennifer Esposito. Every other scene made me sit up and say, “Hey! That guy!”
If there were an actual God, Jeri Ryan, Vitamin C, and Jennifer Esposito would be MY vampire wives.
If you like Y2K-era slashers, you’ll love Dracula 2000. The shallowness and easy-to-watch plot are features, not bugs. Lussier knows exactly what he’s doing. He dials it in just right to have a great time. It’s not remotely scary, the sex is brief and inexplicit, and the gore is mostly limited to a lot of red-hued chocolate syrup; I might argue this is actually one of the better vampire movies to watch with the family. Maybe you should watch it as a double feature with Jesus Christ Superstar. Just saying.
(image credit: Miramax Films)
